Six years later, six reasons why we still don't do Santa

Six years ago, we made the decision that as parents, we wouldn't include Santa Claus in our Christmas celebrations. It was an easy decision for Brad and I, but we received a lot of push back from well-meaning friends and family. The funny thing was, we only had a two month old baby at the time, who wouldn't have a clue who Santa Claus was for a couple of years. But it was important to us to make the decision and to be consistent. Six years later, and three kids after making the initial decision, we're really glad we haven't included St. Nick in the festivities, and are stronger than ever in our conviction.

We felt uneasy about including Santa from the get go, but once we thought and prayed more about it, we knew it wasn't right for our family. Here's a few of the things that helped us decide not to include Santa Claus in our Christmas traditions, if you'd like to hear. As always, please know that this is just our family's choice and not one we are saying you need to make as well.

1. Including larger-than-life Santa Claus distracts from Jesus and is a missed opportunity.

For adults who have been following Jesus for many years, there's still a temptation to get caught up in the hype and materialism of Christmas. Now imagine you're a child, and you're still not sure about what to believe. Add in a joyful elf who delivers presents magically to every child in the world in one night, and a baby in a manger is kind of hard to get excited about. When this mythical man is thrown in the mix, kids are naturally not as inclined towards celebrating Jesus, at least not as the main event. Meanwhile, Christmas is the easiest time to talk to your kids about the gospel, as everyone around them is singing songs that point to Christ and they have two weeks off school to be with their family. We felt that by including Santa, it was missing the most natural opportunity that we have all year.

2. Santa Claus makes materialism paramount.

We have aimed to not make gifts a main part of our festivities, and it's so much easier without Santa in our traditions! With Santa comes writing letters asking for specific presents, making sure you're obeying so Santa will bring you said presents, and of course, finding out what Santa brought all of your friends. The whole point of Santa Claus is that he brings gifts. I'm not saying that gifts are all wrong, or that we aren't giving our kids a few presents as well, but presents play a very small role in our home because the kids know they come from Mom and Dad, and Mom and Dad care a lot about spending money wisely, not accumulating too many things, and buying things second hand when we can.

3. He's not real.

This might sound silly, but it was a big reason we didn't want to include him in our Christmases. He isn't real. It's a completely created idea. Sure, there are some cool roots, and Saint Nicholas sounded like a wonderful man, but there is no North Pole, there are no flying reindeer, and Santa doesn't have the ability to be omnipresent or omniscient. So why are we spending so much energy telling our kids these lies!? Especially when there is a real God who we want them to know, of whom we speak and hope our kids will believe us. We want to talk about the truth with them, especially at Christmas, so it felt strange to add on a tradition that would require us to lie to our kids every.single.day.

4. He's not fair.

Every year, our kids choose certain gifts to send to families in need who live in third world countries. They know, because of our many conversations, and also from seeing the world around them in the city, that many people go without basic needs every day. If there is a Santa, and he's bringing great presents to your kids, why isn't he bringing them to every child? Why will Santa have brought some kids better gifts than others? As much as we hope our kids won't brag about their Christmas presents to their friends once they're back at school, what happens when they do, and other kids realize Santa didn't treat them as well (or treated them better?)?

5. Santa Claus doesn't encourage gratitude.

The idea that if you're good, you'll earn gifts from someone you'll never actually talk to after you've received your present doesn't do a lot for gratitude. Spoiler alert: my kids are selfish. All kids are! Parents need to work hard to teach them things like gratitude, and Santa kind of flies in the face of that. Think about it: kids write out their list, and then gifts magically appear. There's no lesson in spending money wisely, there's no model of sacrificial giving, there's no appreciation for mom and dad. This isn't about getting credit from my kids, it's about their character on the most exciting morning of the year, and how that can be better molded without Santa.

6. Santa Claus is the anti-Gospel.

I know, I probably sound like hyper-theological (and maybe Grinch-like?) here, but it's true! The idea of Santa Claus is that if you're a good little boy or girl, then you will receive presents from Father Christmas. If you're bad, you'll get coal in your stocking as your punishment. The Gospel says, not of your own works, but by GRACE you have been saved! No one is good enough to earn the Father's love, and no one is bad enough to escape his grace. Especially at Christmas when we are focusing on Jesus more than other times of the year, we felt like this was important not to muddle up. Santa Claus and the Gospel are two very distinct messages, and only one felt like good news to us. 

But here's the thing: whether you celebrate with Jolly old St. Nicholas, or your kids have known forever that he's a myth, please know you've got a friend in me. I sometimes hesitate to share these polarizing views because the last thing I want is a debate, or for a reader to think I'm judging them. This is where we've landed for Christmastime parenting, and it's simply our decision that was best for us. 

I should add that we've also had many many talks with our kids about not telling their friends that Santa Claus isn't real. It's become especially important this year with two of our kids in public school where they include Santa Claus in the curriculum! Santa crafts and songs come into our home from their schools, and we are totally fine with that. Lily's class even wrote letters to Père Noël and she told me she wasn't sure if she should write one, because she knows he's not real. In the end she decided to participate in the exercise but in her heart she knew it wasn't real and that Christmas wasn't about presents anyway. I was so proud of her! 

To my knowledge, they haven't told any of their friends that Santa isn't real yet, and I hope they don't. But Lily did ask me a tricky question: "If a friend asks me if I believe in Santa, should I lie to make sure that they don't find out he's not real?" Hard one! I said in that case she should say, "I don't believe in Santa Claus, but it's fine with me if you do." which is what I always want them to feel free to say when disagreeing with someone's beliefs. 

It's been the right choice for us, and we're loving Christmastime this way. Our kids don't feel like they're missing out at all by not having Santa Claus and still site Christmas as their favourite time of year with time off school and Jesus as the focus (ok, and cookies and gifts, I'm sure!). Whatever you do, I encourage you to be diligent to think and pray about it. So often we just go with the flow as parents without taking the time to reflect, look at scripture, pray, and research (us included!). If you have done this all, and still celebrate with Santa Claus, good for you! Being intentional doesn't always mean we'll have the same convictions, these are simply ours :)