Hey all! Blogging has totally taken a backseat to nesting around here, but I figured I was due to give a little update if you didn't already know what was going down. I'm almost 38 weeks. Still pregnant. Instagram is where I've been updating my pregnancy status the most since I don't have any male followers there (or maybe a couple? but not many so I feel more comfortable writing about pregnancy progress there than on Facebook for example!).
The brief summery is that I'm very close. I'm physically "ready" to go into labour at any time. I'm not in pain like I was with Oli, so I'm not dreading still being pregnant by any means (thank the Lord!), but I'm just eager. Understandable after over 8 months of this, I think!
And the false labour contractions. OH those. I used to find them really fun because it told me the baby was coming soon, but after Tuesdays appointment where my OBGYN said truely, "any day now", they're not so fun. Not painful, and easy enough to sit through, but the mind games! I'll tell you, I've never been more unsure of anything in my life with such huge ramifications.
See, here's the thing. Neither of my previous two pregnancies began as they say they will in the leaflets in the doctor's office, or heck, the movies. My water never had that momentous breaking (gush! ah! and while we're at a restaraunt? oh no!). Nor did I ever have the gradual contractions where suddenly they began to progress and get painful and then it was like "owwww get me to the hospital!!". No. Both times it was a very chill trip to the hospital, full of doubt. Because both times, my water was leaking, thus I was curious if something was up, but I had no fluid, no pain, no contractions, no "feeling". And once a doctor examined me both times, we learned, OH HEY. I'M IN LABOUR. And then my water was manually broken (they can do that!? I know, it's crazy) and after that real labour was quick to follow. So really, when experiencing contractions that are textbook (1 minute long, 1 minute apart, for several hours), and all available material on the subject says GO TO THE HOSPITAL, it's frustrating when I don't really know. And it continues to not be the real deal.
And why am I so concerned about not knowing? Isn't it just fun to wait and see? Kind of. Except, with Oli, after my water was broken at the hospital, he was born in two hours. And by the time I got the blessed epidural, he came too fast and the drugs didn't take. Giving birth again, without the aid of an epidural is terrifying to me. I know some of you are all about natural birthing and if that's your flag, wave it girl! Enjoy every excruciating push. You've done your research and you know it's what you want and maybe even love. For me though, I'm just not that kind of birthing mama.
My birth with Lily (where I was completely with it mentally, but 100% frozen from the waste down) was so fabulous. I knew what was going on at every moment and was able to push when it was time, but there was no pain, and thus, no panic or stress (anyone else not take pain well?). Oli was the opposite. I couldn't talk, breathe, think. The pain took over and I felt so alone though the nurses and doctors were coaching me through every step and Brad was by my side through it all. Pain just does that to me. Especially blinding pain. I often think of the days my older two were born fondly, but realistically I'd re-live the day Lily was born a thousand times, and Oli's I wouldn't care to repeat. Birthing her while being able to talk and pray with my husband, tell jokes and take naps... that was paradise. Birthing Oli, while incredible because it was the day I met my favourite boy, was devastatingly painful and totally not fun.
So this birth, can you guess my birth plan? It's figure out when the heck I'm in labour (not so easy, I'm learning), get to the hospital, and order the epidural before I'm even in too much pain. With desperate hopes that it's not too late again. That's all. These days all of the false labour is throwing me for a loop because I keep thinking "it's time!" and the decision to go to the hospital is a tough one. I don't want to miss my chance at an epidural, but I also don't want to go and waste my time if it's not the real thing. Brad and I find ourselves playing this mind game most evenings lately.
On the bright side, this third trimester has been great. I'm feeling healthy and good, and apart from the false labour and my OBGYN's exam results on Tuesday, I wouldn't think I was anywhere near giving birth. I could easily go another two weeks. But I just hope I'll know when it's the real deal, with time to spare!
The brief summery is that I'm very close. I'm physically "ready" to go into labour at any time. I'm not in pain like I was with Oli, so I'm not dreading still being pregnant by any means (thank the Lord!), but I'm just eager. Understandable after over 8 months of this, I think!
And the false labour contractions. OH those. I used to find them really fun because it told me the baby was coming soon, but after Tuesdays appointment where my OBGYN said truely, "any day now", they're not so fun. Not painful, and easy enough to sit through, but the mind games! I'll tell you, I've never been more unsure of anything in my life with such huge ramifications.
See, here's the thing. Neither of my previous two pregnancies began as they say they will in the leaflets in the doctor's office, or heck, the movies. My water never had that momentous breaking (gush! ah! and while we're at a restaraunt? oh no!). Nor did I ever have the gradual contractions where suddenly they began to progress and get painful and then it was like "owwww get me to the hospital!!". No. Both times it was a very chill trip to the hospital, full of doubt. Because both times, my water was leaking, thus I was curious if something was up, but I had no fluid, no pain, no contractions, no "feeling". And once a doctor examined me both times, we learned, OH HEY. I'M IN LABOUR. And then my water was manually broken (they can do that!? I know, it's crazy) and after that real labour was quick to follow. So really, when experiencing contractions that are textbook (1 minute long, 1 minute apart, for several hours), and all available material on the subject says GO TO THE HOSPITAL, it's frustrating when I don't really know. And it continues to not be the real deal.
And why am I so concerned about not knowing? Isn't it just fun to wait and see? Kind of. Except, with Oli, after my water was broken at the hospital, he was born in two hours. And by the time I got the blessed epidural, he came too fast and the drugs didn't take. Giving birth again, without the aid of an epidural is terrifying to me. I know some of you are all about natural birthing and if that's your flag, wave it girl! Enjoy every excruciating push. You've done your research and you know it's what you want and maybe even love. For me though, I'm just not that kind of birthing mama.
My birth with Lily (where I was completely with it mentally, but 100% frozen from the waste down) was so fabulous. I knew what was going on at every moment and was able to push when it was time, but there was no pain, and thus, no panic or stress (anyone else not take pain well?). Oli was the opposite. I couldn't talk, breathe, think. The pain took over and I felt so alone though the nurses and doctors were coaching me through every step and Brad was by my side through it all. Pain just does that to me. Especially blinding pain. I often think of the days my older two were born fondly, but realistically I'd re-live the day Lily was born a thousand times, and Oli's I wouldn't care to repeat. Birthing her while being able to talk and pray with my husband, tell jokes and take naps... that was paradise. Birthing Oli, while incredible because it was the day I met my favourite boy, was devastatingly painful and totally not fun.
So this birth, can you guess my birth plan? It's figure out when the heck I'm in labour (not so easy, I'm learning), get to the hospital, and order the epidural before I'm even in too much pain. With desperate hopes that it's not too late again. That's all. These days all of the false labour is throwing me for a loop because I keep thinking "it's time!" and the decision to go to the hospital is a tough one. I don't want to miss my chance at an epidural, but I also don't want to go and waste my time if it's not the real thing. Brad and I find ourselves playing this mind game most evenings lately.
On the bright side, this third trimester has been great. I'm feeling healthy and good, and apart from the false labour and my OBGYN's exam results on Tuesday, I wouldn't think I was anywhere near giving birth. I could easily go another two weeks. But I just hope I'll know when it's the real deal, with time to spare!
Wow! so exciting! Emily- I found your blog through a mutual friend Jess Bernier and love following along! Congrats on the upcoming little one and I hope this labour goes smooth!
ReplyDelete-Jillian